ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
