my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just gift wrapped bread.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
