Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
