is your mom at the bar?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
