I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
