Small penises have feelings too.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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