oh god the rape fog is back!
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
