I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
