drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
