she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
is wine microwaveable?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
