I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
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