Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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