No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
