he wants to bone in the snuggie
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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