i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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