If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
