The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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