Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
