"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
even my farts smell like vagina
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
