I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My feet surprised me
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
