Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
