I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
