I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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