He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
