So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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