just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
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HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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