...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
