i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
being pregnant is like rehab
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
