did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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