4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
