Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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