do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Randomize
