Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
