He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize