i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
