i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
