love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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