I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
