Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
