she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
