And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Are we still banned from the library?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize