There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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