I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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