My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
