her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
cat food counts as protein by the way
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
