you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
