The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize