I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
