Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
