why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
