Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
