"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
