i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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