Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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