Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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