my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
